It sucked that I had to go to work on a Saturday and miss watching a very important sporting event....but I digress. At least I got some entertainment while I was slaving away this weekend at my chosen profession.
So, without going into too much detail I'll just say that I had to be around a large group of people when I was working this weekend. Most took their seats in a nice orderly fashion. However, one such person did not and insisted upon pacing back and forth, to and fro in the back of the room. I didn't want to be there, so I was sitting in the back of the room to begin with (lucky for me, because I was in the back of the room, I could see EVERYTHING).
I guess this person gets tired of pacing, and she goes to sit her totally huge fat ass down on the end of a table. It's one of those long wooden tables (the kind you might see at a yard sale). She sits on the one end, and then the opposite end of the table (end closest to me) starts raising up off of the ground, slowly but surely. It continues to go up and down for sometime as she shifts her weight and gets up and down and so on.
As I watched this, I kept thinking: "this is not going to end ell for you Lady!" Sure enough, it didn't end well for her. Eventually, she shifted her weight just so, and (while she didn't fall flat on her ass on the floor--too bad!) she knocked the front end of the table over because of her weight, and this caused the back of the table (and its legs that kept coming up off of the ground to fly up in the air and act as a catapult for the water bottle that was sitting on top of it. The water bottle had to have flown at least ten feet.
It was sooo funny I had to pinch myself soooooo hard, I almost made myself bleed for trying not to laugh!
The moral of the story: if you're fat, sit in a chair.
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